No, there will be no Dwayne Wayne in this post although I really did quite enjoy this show years ago and even more so now as I run across daily reruns. The topic I would like to address tonight is more focused on the questions so many people that have lost a great deal of weight have been asked (I suppose that a person who has GAINED a great deal of weight would be asked these questions too if people were not afraid to ask). I thought to write about these questions when reading a post by my GFFL sexy beasts. One of the women shared that her sister-in-law had emailed her asking if she now felt as though she were living in a different place now that she has lost so much weight. She responded in the affirmative and who the hell wouldn't?! You have most likely now lost a small or large person and as big as you were, you are NOW no longer invisible. That seems so ass backwards to me that as people we can be as big as two or three physical humans and ignored by the general masses...or insulted...or demeaned...or ignored...or altogether disregarded completely but the MINUTE we lose some pounds boy, watch out! Now, I can't speak for everyone because let's be honest...there are just some people who have been smacked with the ugly stick in physical appearance or personality (as I am inclined more to see on a daily basis...yes skinny bitches, you can still be skinny AND ugly on the inside AND out...have you ever heard of a "butter face?"). There are also some of us who don't see or notice a difference in the way people treat us. I personally have not felt like I get hit on more and I don't notice if and when people stare at me which, to me, goes to show you I am not out for your appreciation or acceptance. Yes, it feels good to receive compliments but I did not, nor did many of us, go into this to up the flirt factor...we did it to ourselves and for ourselves and we will work at it and live it every single day.
On one hand, doesn't it feel great to get some positive attention? On the other hand, doesn't it SUCK to have people asking you all the time how you feel and if you should be eating that? Yeah once you share this with people they are going to be scrutinizing everything you do but guess what...they probably were when you were fat too. One major part of our society is constantly scrutinizing each other. We don't want to admit it because it would be materialistic, shallow and mean. Well, too bad. It happens and even if you feel guilty for judging someone or thinking something snarky in your head, it's normal and it's sadly part of our culture because we are raised to be insecure. Magazines, TV, books, internet and even radio feeds into it. Haven't you heard the "join our free weight loss trial" ads during your morning constitutions or drives to work? It's a little ridiculous but it's there. So people are always going to look. The only thing we can do is adjust our comfort level, take one for the team and ignore the overly positive or negative or get a leg up on them and learn to say "leave me alone." And that is putting it gently...what you COULD be saying is "How in the hell would you like me to ask you how you are feeling as you shove that stupid cake in your mouth? Do you think you just gained a pound because you ate a bite of something a NORMAL person would eat? Then why would you ask ME that?!" We are all doing the best we can with what we've got and I have a cool tool that limits what my stomach can handle but guess what?! My brain and common ass sense has to tell my mouth not to eat too much for my stomach so I don't PUKE...just like your brain has to. So yes, I am feeling great, yes I can eat that one bite of something you can eat because I have self control and I don't want to blow the frick back up and yes i am taking all my vitamins...are YOU? I never write this but "LOL" this makes me laugh. We have to seriously stop scrutinizing everything people do and if you are going to do it, just keep it to yourself, it's a hell of a lot better if your dumb comments stay in your mouth rather than diarrhea out...but I digress.
The woman wanted to know if the world is a different place. Some people commented on this saying they notice people smiling more, laughing harder at their jokes, acting all around more courteous. Others said the attention made them uncomfortable, paranoid and overall uneasy. Others say that are told or they personally feel they are happier. Yeah you are happier, you are not carrying a baby hippo in your ass anymore! Maybe you are happier, more confident or maybe you are just carrying yourself taller and you simply radiate confidence. Any way you look at it though attention from others is something we handle on a very personal level and well all handle differently. It is a hard reality that healthier looking people receive nicer compliments, are treated with more respect and are often asked more often what their opinions are. Healthier looking people are healthier, honestly and that is something that we now rejoice in as the weight comes off. What is harder to deal with is dealing in general. You may have to rethink how you feel about some things...how do you feel about the extra attention, what will your reactions be, what will you settle or strive for and how do you feel about you, because at the end of the day, that is all that matters. Our bodies don't just change in this journey, our minds do too. You may still be the same sweet and caring person you always were but you will see a lot of things differently. I know that for me, I stopped taking other people's crap for the most part. I am still working on getting that "yes" girl to stop saying yes so goddamn much. It's hard but it's a process, like everything else. We don't need to just physically strive and change but we also need to emotionally face and change some things. For me, I need to work on not caring so much what other people think or say. I am more comfortable in my skin and I do love me...I'm just a work in progress.