Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Unintentional Absence due to Living...Life

Many apologies for being absent from the world of blogging for over a month...wow a month?! I can't even fully begin to comprehend how time flies. It seems like yesterday I was making the decision to change my life and commencing the constant calorie counting that is my life in preparation for a life-changing operation. Last July, I attended the informational meeting for Bariatric Surgery or the don't ask, don't tell...GASTRIC BYPASS...Shhh lest someone hear and form an opinion either way. It was during this informational meeting that I began feeling the fear and cold sweat making its way from the nape of my neck down to my "pedicured by someone else because I can't reach my own" toes. It was during that meeting that I made the decision not to be just a participant in my life but the leader of it. I think it's this way with any life-changing decision. We fear...we hedge...we re-think...we DO...and we can't look back. In some cases, we want to look back on our decisions and change them. In most cases, however, we reflect on them and are thankful for what they have taught us. I know I am. One year ago the process began. I had 6 months to lose 5% of my weight before surgery in December and now I am magically 6 months post-op and am down a total of 121 lbs. I can't even begin to think about what I would be doing this morning or, for that matter, what I would have been doing from December 22 through June 22...nothing much is my guess.

Instead, I have been busy...and loving it! Since my last post I have:
*Attended a bachelorette party in Boston for my bestie, Emily, during which we participated in a POLE DANCING class (and learned a floor AND chair routine) and danced for hours to deafeningly fun music, all without booze for this party girl.

*RUN on a treadmill...not long and not too hard but, if you know me then you know I do NOT run...ever.

*Bought 3...yes 3 different colors...$9 sun dresses in a 12/14 and a 16/18 because my sizes are changing again AND they were $9. I can't even begin to imagine being comfortable in a strappy dress at a size 28...

*Stood up for my bestie Emily at her wedding as her Matron of Honor, had my dress that I bought in November really "re-fitted," given a teary speech during which I said "frickin" into a microphone, and danced the night away without any alcohol to get the party started and my ass on the dance floor.

*Had a few bites of wedding/birthday cake without becoming sick or wanting more...apparently that dreaded sugar intolerance is also a non-issue for me and although many would say "oh no, now you may cheat or eat things you aren't supposed to"...I don't see it as a pandora's box...I am still sugar free the majority of the time, still count and track all my nutrition, etc. and am not, in any way, more attracted to the crap I do not and should not want. I like that on a very rare occasion I can feel like the normal girl who can indulge in a bite or two without feeling like a no-sugar freak. The slippery road is not for me, that is for sure.

*Gone bike shopping and out to dinner with a high school friend that I haven't seen since then and would have NOT gotten together with last summer due to my weight shame, during which I was scared to death I would fall off the bike, seeing as I have not been on one in over 12 years. I know, I know...we never forget...but sure as shit I would have been the one who did. As it turns out, I didn't fall and although i didn't buy the $400ish hybrid, I had a great time with my friend.

*Gone kayaking AND mountain biking up at our camp in the Adirondacks. I haven't been in or on either in more than a decade and it kills me that I lost 10 years of my active life that way, but wow what a good feeling it was to be back in and on both! Sore shoulders and a bruised butt aside, this summer is going to be so much better than any part of the last ten years and I am uber excited to do all of the things on my list, including but not limited to a trip to the amusement park(s) to get my roller coaster on!

120 down...80ish more to go and so excited for the journey!