Weekend Update...

Happy weekend friends! I thought I would provide a weekend update as I have more time to sit in front of my lap top. Here is the current skinny:

1. I am down 175 pounds. I have gone from a size 28 pre-op to a size 12/14 depending on where I shop. My currently favorite NSV ("non scale victory" for those of you who don't speak the lingo) is that I am wearing clothes from Ann Taylor Loft and I had never stepped foot in there before. I have new underwear from Victoria's Secret and I haven't shopped there in YEARS! I've finally lost a cup size (people generally lose a lot from the chest after surgery but until now I only lost inches around) and am now a D instead of a DD woohoo! I won't go into the actual state of my girls as it is a sad one but at least they are still making an appearance. I remember being pre-op and listening to people on support forums talking about extra skin and saggy boobs...guess what, I don't care that my chest looks like tennis balls in tube socks, I feel fabulous! Shopping is a whole new world for me. Last time I was small enough to wear cool clothes I was a teenager so obviously I am not shopping where I did back then. I have to find all new places to shop and start thinking about how a size in one story is not the same in another. It's still tiring to shop and I'm not sure I am in love with it yet, but it feels good to have more options, even if I am overwhelmed by them.


2. I totally think and act like a smaller person! I bitch about not fitting in clothes, work outs, eating too much or the "wrong things" (even though my daily eating is healthy, we all know our skinny friends bitch about stuff like this all the time), and I catch myself looking at my reflection in store windows as I pass by. Now, I am not "into" myself by any means but I remember always teasing one of my best friends about mirror envy in high school and she will yell at me for posting this but I catch myself doing it now too! It't not because I love looking at myself or because I think I am all that, it's because I can't believe what I see and the more evidence I actually "see" to the contrary, the more I can believe that I have come this far and I can do this...forever and ever and ever and never go back. I complain that I don't work out enough and I could be doing more and at the same time am out for miles and miles of walks with my dogs that I couldn't have done 15 months ago. Along the same lines of thinking like a healthy person (I can't say skinny because there are many skinny people who are not healthy), I really think about food. I think about food in a smart and effective way. I am the protein shake queen around here when it comes to saying over and over like a broken record that protein shakes can be good for you AND taste good! I post my protein shake recipe all the time in hopes that people will see it, try it and realize that one of the best ways to lose is to bump up your daily protein numbers, especially after a workout or before bed when your body needs to keep working and digesting overnight so it doesn't shut down. A basic shake for me includes a scoop of fuzzy navel or chocolate truffle powder (23 grams of whey protein isolate, no sugar, no carb, 100 calories), 1/2 cup of milk (soy for extra protein) and 1/3 frozen banana (I keep a bag of these in my freezer all peeled and ready to go). From there the add ins are different. On days that I am not using the shakes as meal replacements and I need some extra protein, I simply use a scoop with milk or water in my shaker cup. Sometimes I even add 1/4 cup plain greek yogurt if I want extra protein. Here are examples of meal replacement  or after gym shakes:

Fuzzy Navel Protein Shake:

*One scoop Syntrax fuzzy navel powder (or any vanilla or fruit protein powder you like!)
*1/3 frozen banana
*3-4 strawberries or 1/4 cup raspberries (frozen or thawed)
*1/2 cup milk
*1 TB SF FF instant jello pudding powder (vanilla or banana cream flavor)
*ice cubes
*1/4 cup plain greek yogurt *totally optional*
*1 TB SF torani syrup (vanilla, raspberry, etc.)* totally optional*

Chocolate Truffle Protein Shake:
*One scoop Syntrax chocolate truffle powder (or any chocolate protein powder you like!)
*1/3 frozen banana
*2TB PB2 powdered peanut butter or 1TB PB2 and 1TB real peanut butter (I like the balance of real pb with the pb2 lower calories and higher protein)
*1/2 cup milk
*1 TB SF FF instant jello pudding powder (chocolate fudge or white chocolate flavor)
*ice cubes

Hope you enjoy!! The sugar free, fat free instance pudding powder is essential for a milkshake thick shake, makes it all worthwhile!

3. To get back to the updates...I can and WANT to do things I wouldn't have or couldn't have before. Yesterday we parked in the village of Liverpool by this coffee shop that is super cute, and walked the half mile to my grandparents house instead of driving right there. That way, we would have to walk back to the car and then I could reward myself with a sugar free soy latte while walking down to the lake and around the park. My grandfather helped build Johnson park in the village of Liverpool and his family is the reason there is a willow museum there too. I never would have just walked around the village, parked away from their house and walked anywhere without someone having to twist my arm. Yesterday I did all of that on my own desires.  I could have stayed out all day, it was so beautiful out! After a beautiful walk, the deck furniture came out AND the basketball saw some action in the driveway. It was never ending fun and I felt healthy, young and so free! My roller blades WILL be seeing the light of day this year!

4. Comparison pictures! I was reading the egg face blog (google it if you don't know who Shelly is) and she was talking about her motivators. One of them was looking at pictures and comparing what she saw/sees. Personally, I agree! When I am feeling like I am just not where I wanted or thought I should be, I take new or look at old pictures. Here are my most current comparisons.

The first is in September, 2010 and my sisters wedding. I was 364ish pounds of fun. The other pictures are me at 14-15 months post op and 189 pounds of taller looking, leaner looking me! I am still working on hitting my high/low goals of 180/160 and have 9-29 more to go. But I have to say that if I never moved another pound or inch, I would be happy with me. I can do all that I want and have to on a daily basis. I have stamina and sometimes, even confidence, although I struggle with seeing myself in a better light every single day. Just because the picture or mirror image changes does NOT mean you instantly love yourself more people, it's a sad reality post ops must face. You have to be really ready for something like this and know that it's dealing with the head just as much, if not more, than dealing with the physical. The physical and mental parts of the weight loss process do not always go hand in hand and need to be treated with equal respect. We need to nurture both. In honor of that, I am posting a song that reminds me of so many wonderful people I interact with daily on GFFL that do not quite know how beautiful they are but their beauty is sometimes even more enhanced by the fact that they do not know how amazing they are. Happy weekend loves!

A Different World?

No, there will be no Dwayne Wayne in this post although I really did quite enjoy this show years ago and even more so now as I run across daily reruns. The topic I would like to address tonight is more focused on the questions so many people that have lost a great deal of weight have been asked (I suppose that a person who has GAINED a great deal of weight would be asked these questions too if people were not afraid to ask). I thought to write about these questions when reading a post by my GFFL sexy beasts. One of the women shared that her sister-in-law had emailed her asking if she now felt as though she were living in a different place now that she has lost so much weight. She responded in the affirmative and who the hell wouldn't?! You have most likely now lost a small or large person and as big as you were, you are NOW no longer invisible. That seems so ass backwards to me that as people we can be as big as two or three physical humans and ignored by the general masses...or insulted...or demeaned...or ignored...or altogether disregarded completely but the MINUTE we lose some pounds boy, watch out! Now, I can't speak for everyone because let's be honest...there are just some people who have been smacked with the ugly stick in physical appearance or personality (as I am inclined more to see on a daily basis...yes skinny bitches, you can still be skinny AND ugly on the inside AND out...have you ever heard of a "butter face?"). There are also some of us who don't see or notice a difference in the way people treat us. I personally have not felt like I get hit on more and I don't notice if and when people stare at me which, to me, goes to show you I am not out for your appreciation or acceptance. Yes, it feels good to receive compliments but I did not, nor did many of us, go into this to up the flirt factor...we did it to ourselves and for ourselves and we will work at it and live it every single day.

On one hand, doesn't it feel great to get some positive attention? On the other hand, doesn't it SUCK to have people asking you all the time how you feel and if you should be eating that? Yeah once you share this with people they are going to be scrutinizing everything you do but guess what...they probably were when you were fat too. One major part of our society is constantly scrutinizing each other. We don't want to admit it because it would be materialistic, shallow and mean. Well, too bad. It happens and even if you feel guilty for judging someone or thinking something snarky in your head, it's normal and it's sadly part of our culture because we are raised to be insecure. Magazines, TV, books, internet and even radio feeds into it. Haven't you heard the "join our free weight loss trial" ads during your morning constitutions or drives to work? It's a little ridiculous but it's there. So people are always going to look. The only thing we can do is adjust our comfort level, take one for the team and ignore the overly positive or negative or get a leg up on them and learn to say "leave me alone." And that is putting it gently...what you COULD be saying is "How in the hell would you like me to ask you how you are feeling as you shove that stupid cake in your mouth? Do you think you just gained a pound because you ate a bite of something a NORMAL person would eat? Then why would you ask ME that?!" We are all doing the best we can with what we've got and I have a cool tool that limits what my stomach can handle but guess what?! My brain and common ass sense has to tell my mouth not to eat too much for my stomach so I don't PUKE...just like your brain has to. So yes, I am feeling great, yes I can eat that one bite of something you can eat because I have self control and I don't want to blow the frick back up and yes i am taking all my vitamins...are YOU? I never write this but "LOL" this makes me laugh. We have to seriously stop scrutinizing everything people do and if you are going to do it, just keep it to yourself, it's a hell of a lot better if your dumb comments stay in your mouth rather than diarrhea out...but I digress.

The woman wanted to know if the world is a different place. Some people commented on this saying they notice people smiling more, laughing harder at their jokes, acting all around more courteous. Others said the attention made them uncomfortable, paranoid and overall uneasy. Others say that are told or they personally feel they are happier. Yeah you are happier, you are not carrying a baby hippo in your ass anymore! Maybe you are happier, more confident or maybe you are just carrying yourself taller and you simply radiate confidence. Any way you look at it though attention from others is something we handle on a very personal level and well all handle differently. It is a hard reality that healthier looking people receive nicer compliments, are treated with more respect and are often asked more often what their opinions are. Healthier looking people are healthier, honestly and that is something that we now rejoice in as the weight comes off. What is harder to deal with is dealing in general. You may have to rethink how you feel about some things...how do you feel about the extra attention, what will your reactions be, what will you settle or strive for and how do you feel about you, because at the end of the day, that is all that matters. Our bodies don't just change in this journey, our minds do too. You may still be the same sweet and caring person you always were but you will see a lot of things differently. I know that for me, I stopped taking other people's crap for the most part. I am still working on getting that "yes" girl to stop saying yes so goddamn much. It's hard but it's a process, like everything else. We don't need to just physically strive and change but we also need to emotionally face and change some things. For me, I need to work on not caring so much what other people think or say. I am more comfortable in my skin and I do love me...I'm just a work in progress.

OM...G!

I am so sorry I haven't blogged in a good long while. It's all my fault and I have no one to blame but myself. Writing is something I love to do and when I don't make time for it I feel as though I let myself down a little bit. I know we are all busy with our daily lives, goals, trials and tribulations but if this journey has taught me nothing else, it is that we need to take some time away from things and focus on ourselves. So, for that, I am sorry "me" for letting "me" down, and I am sorry for you that you have not had any laughs at my expense in recent months. I will try harder. Onward and upward...

So I don't normally subscribe to the abbreviation of all things English language but O...M...G! I am no longer even considered obese! I am now officially "overweight" according to some male created BMI crap chart. However, it's still NOT "OBESE!!!!" Ahhh! The day I entered "Onderland" was just over one year post-op and I had struggled with fluctuating between 207 and 203. I pushed and pushed, went back to adding protein shakes into my everyday routine and low and behold...BAM! 199.9 one "beautiful" Syracuse morning! My doctors agree that now the trek is just to see how much more comes off while staying true to what makes me happy and how I want to look. I went into this wanting to get rid of the layers of woman I didn't like, the lazy, the depressed, the weak...and to someday have a better chance at being able to start a healthy family (other than my fur babies, of course). I have done most of those things already and it feels wonderful! This surgery and a new lifestyle has saved my life...quite possibly, literally. I got rid of the layers of that woman I was...the one that was so easily discouraged by weight loss that never felt like any loss was good enough...the one who would work out and work out and work out and feel like she was going nowhere...the one who would then get so discouraged that she would emotionally eat her way through entire bags, pints and containers of CRAP...the one who conquered emotional and stress eating before surgery but felt so incredibly stuck that all she wanted was to give up...and mostly, the woman who would take shit from others because she felt like she couldn't stand taller than her 5'8" 364 pound frame. I would like to wish that woman well but be glad I kicked her out of the world in which I live...because she is not welcome here.

Just a couple weeks later, after pushing some more, this is where I stand.  My doctors felt, and still feel that as long as I am under 200, I am OK. Well folks, that's not quite good enough for me. I am not striving to be some rail thin waif of a woman...it's not possible for someone with my birthing hips, broad shoulders and height. I would personally like to be somewhere between 160 and 180. As long as I am comfortable with how I feel and look...we'll go from there. I will have some extra skin, as I already do, but I see it as I see my stretch marks...like battle wounds...a reminder than I have been to hell and back and I am better for it. My extra skin may or may not be dealt with someday but do I really have to worry about before having kids? No, it's going to stretch back out anyway...I feel as though I have given my body a shortcut...you're welcome future baby...I stretched it out for you! I don't want to be any one's idea of perfect, none of us are and our harshest critics are ourselves (and other women). We all need to love ourselves a little more by doing things that make us feel good about ourselves. For me, that is eating right, exercising and standing up for myself in situations I used to back down from. I'm not saying I have free reign to be a bitch, but I can say "no thank you" when I take on too much and I can say "you were wrong" if you were. For me, that is HUGE! So focus on something that makes you tick...today I made sure I spent some time writing...it doesn't fix everything but it sure makes me feel good and I hope I made you feel good too. We are all works in progress on our unique canvases...take time out to paint a little today.

Forget You...

I'm back! I know it has been a long time and as much as I am sure I wasn't really missed as we all lead busy lives, I missed writing and I need to be a more active participant in my rantings so they don't simply stay in my head. So, to tackle this problem head on, let's talk about our heads since most of our problems originate here, whether our problems stem from food...ummm other issues...

 It's amazing how much we let ourselves "forget" when we really put our minds to it. For instance, I forgot what it was like to do a lot of things I used to do. This summer I spoke about kayaking and roller coasters, rollerblading and my intent to ski this coming winter if it kills me, and it might. I forgot about what it was like to receive compliments on my appearance, to receive attention from both sexes in positive and negative ways and more than anything I forgot how to feel sexy as a woman. However, those are the big things I forgot about as I was eating myself to 364 pounds of no-fun fatness. I stopped doing and feelings all of those wonderful things and, therefore, I stopped really living certain parts of my life. 

The little things I forgot about are now starting to become big things as my loss slows down a bit. These upsetting memories are yanked from my subconscious into the light of current day. I thought I had pushed them WAY down into the memory abyss but alas, they resurface and remind me about a place to which I will never allow myself to return. I read a blog the other day that jarred a memory about one of the obese person's worst nightmares in school...generally high school and college...the connected desk chair...the DHAIR!  When you are a bigger person, and I could mean heavy or tall really, you dread the DHAIR! You will go out of your way to set the alarm clock early to get to the class before others so that you can either find the biggest one there is OR find the one desk and chair not connected to anything OR sit with the removable part bent down and write on the desk next to you, claiming you are just more comfortable that way. God forbid if you had to adjust any of these things with other people in the room because the embarrassment could ruin your day and send you into another sad eating binge. If it was going to mean a lot of re-arranging, you might even just cram yourself into the thing and do your best not to cry or vomit as you crush the extra person inside you. The DHAIR is the worst...WAS the worst. I sat in one today as I was talking to a colleague and I had so much room to spare that my instant bad memory was abolished by my joy as I sat with my legs crossed all lady like feeling pretty. Screw you DHAIR...back to the abyss with you!

I'm sure I will have these little revelations from time to time, like almost being able to borrow my mom's belt (she's much shorter and lighter than I...love you mom!) and realizing I can wear calf and knee boots now. However, I also still get the random..."well it's obvious you are carrying some extra weight on you" from people that didn't know me even a year ago...random people who go in and out of my life that I should not let effect me or my self image because they don't know where I have been or where I am going...I should simply take their words and use them to keep working hard and I do...it's not their fault they may have a case of diarrhea of the mouth and pre-judginess without looking in the mirror once in a while themselves. You can't change people, only yourself. The little revelations will get me through now that much of my loss has slowed and many of the big ah-ha's have passed...the revelations and my memories.

Unintentional Absence due to Living...Life

Many apologies for being absent from the world of blogging for over a month...wow a month?! I can't even fully begin to comprehend how time flies. It seems like yesterday I was making the decision to change my life and commencing the constant calorie counting that is my life in preparation for a life-changing operation. Last July, I attended the informational meeting for Bariatric Surgery or the don't ask, don't tell...GASTRIC BYPASS...Shhh lest someone hear and form an opinion either way. It was during this informational meeting that I began feeling the fear and cold sweat making its way from the nape of my neck down to my "pedicured by someone else because I can't reach my own" toes. It was during that meeting that I made the decision not to be just a participant in my life but the leader of it. I think it's this way with any life-changing decision. We fear...we hedge...we re-think...we DO...and we can't look back. In some cases, we want to look back on our decisions and change them. In most cases, however, we reflect on them and are thankful for what they have taught us. I know I am. One year ago the process began. I had 6 months to lose 5% of my weight before surgery in December and now I am magically 6 months post-op and am down a total of 121 lbs. I can't even begin to think about what I would be doing this morning or, for that matter, what I would have been doing from December 22 through June 22...nothing much is my guess.

Instead, I have been busy...and loving it! Since my last post I have:
*Attended a bachelorette party in Boston for my bestie, Emily, during which we participated in a POLE DANCING class (and learned a floor AND chair routine) and danced for hours to deafeningly fun music, all without booze for this party girl.

*RUN on a treadmill...not long and not too hard but, if you know me then you know I do NOT run...ever.

*Bought 3...yes 3 different colors...$9 sun dresses in a 12/14 and a 16/18 because my sizes are changing again AND they were $9. I can't even begin to imagine being comfortable in a strappy dress at a size 28...

*Stood up for my bestie Emily at her wedding as her Matron of Honor, had my dress that I bought in November really "re-fitted," given a teary speech during which I said "frickin" into a microphone, and danced the night away without any alcohol to get the party started and my ass on the dance floor.


*Had a few bites of wedding/birthday cake without becoming sick or wanting more...apparently that dreaded sugar intolerance is also a non-issue for me and although many would say "oh no, now you may cheat or eat things you aren't supposed to"...I don't see it as a pandora's box...I am still sugar free the majority of the time, still count and track all my nutrition, etc. and am not, in any way, more attracted to the crap I do not and should not want. I like that on a very rare occasion I can feel like the normal girl who can indulge in a bite or two without feeling like a no-sugar freak. The slippery road is not for me, that is for sure.


*Gone bike shopping and out to dinner with a high school friend that I haven't seen since then and would have NOT gotten together with last summer due to my weight shame, during which I was scared to death I would fall off the bike, seeing as I have not been on one in over 12 years. I know, I know...we never forget...but sure as shit I would have been the one who did. As it turns out, I didn't fall and although i didn't buy the $400ish hybrid, I had a great time with my friend.


*Gone kayaking AND mountain biking up at our camp in the Adirondacks. I haven't been in or on either in more than a decade and it kills me that I lost 10 years of my active life that way, but wow what a good feeling it was to be back in and on both! Sore shoulders and a bruised butt aside, this summer is going to be so much better than any part of the last ten years and I am uber excited to do all of the things on my list, including but not limited to a trip to the amusement park(s) to get my roller coaster on!

120 down...80ish more to go and so excited for the journey!

100 Years...More Likely Now...

All I can say is...holy shit! December 22, 2010 changed my life and so have I...forever, if not for the next 71+ possible years of my life. As of May 13, 2011, less than five months after my RNY surgery, I have lost 100 pounds! I can't even fully comprehend this loss yet, only gaze in awe at my Spark chart that shows my numbers decreasing month by month. I have averaged (with a stall once a month, at least) to lose 15-20 pounds average over the course of this crazy journey. Did you know that one pound of fat is equal to 4...count them...4 sticks of butter?! I did. However, I never fully comprehended that fact. That is a shit-load of butter! That is seriously 400 sticks of butter, sacks and sacks of potatoes or sugar and a crap-tastic amount of calories seeing as it takes around 3500 calories to gain one pound. If I had dully comprehended this, I don't think I would have reached my highest weight, but sometimes facts don't really mean anything until we are standing in the shoes of someone who weighs 364 pounds. 

What I did comprehend was my relationship with food. Food was my enemy in high school and then friend, confidante and source of comfort for a very long time and throughout some very difficult situations. It was my late night study buddy in college and my dirty little secret (not so secret as evidenced by my expanding body) afterwards. Sometimes I grieve the loss of my friend "Food," but more often than not I look upon my past relationship with this good friend and horrible enemy as a very distinct part of my life and an overall learning experience. Food taught me, if nothing else, that at the end of each and every day, I matter. It taught me to love myself for me and not settle for anything less than what I wanted in my life. Food taught me to love not only me for me but others for themselves and not for what size pants or skirt they wore. Food taught me that some of my relationships were unhealthy and toxic, besides the affair I was having with Food. I thank Food for making me value my life more than anything. I am thankful that Food has been resurrected to be helpful to me now, a healthy and life sustaining substance that I still enjoy, and that I can still create with and share with my family in a life-sustaining way.

On that note, you have all seen my recent blogs that center around cooking. It sounds really funny saying that I enjoy cooking even more now...she likes to cook? Jigga what?! It's SO true and I love to make regular recipes healthier and more "me" friendly. For example, there was a recipe in the Sunday paper coupon section (Oh yeah, I am THAT girl) about a month ago and I ripped it out along with the attached coupon. The recipe I so exuberantly ripped out was for a breakfast casserole with Hillshire Farm smoked sausage...because THAT is a healthy ingredient worthy of my post-op kitchen?! Riiiiiight...really?! Well...NO! It also called for whole eggs and heavy cream and shredded cheese! Holy heart attack Batman! I almost left it where it was. But then I didn't...because I could do some serious calorie control with this baby! And I did...ohhhh I did. Here is the original recipe in case you would like to consume at least a couple HUNDRED extra calories per serving (remember, it serves 12...) or make others fat, either way you are cruising for a bruising. 

Crustless Quiche:

1 pkg. Hillshire Farm Smoked Sausage

8 eggs, lightly beaten

1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

1 1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1/4 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. black pepper

1 1/2 cups (divided: 1 cup and 1/2 cup) shredded cheddar

1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper

*Preheat to 350. Cut sausage into cubes and set aside. Lightly beat eggs, cream, mustard, salt and pepper in a bowl. Add 1 cup of cheese, sausage and green pepper. Stir well, pour into a 13x9 pan and bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes or until set. Remove from oven and sprinkle rest (1/2) cup of cheese on top to melt. Serve and enjoy!

Here is what you can do to avoid the guilt, beef up the recipe and enjoy with some serious healthy smiles:

*Use the Turkey Hillshire Farm sausage (less cals, fat and better protein).

*Use 4 large eggs and 1 cup of Egg Beaters (I used the southwestern or garden veggie flavored variety).

*Replace heavy cream with light cream (saves fat and cals).

*Use more like 1/2 green pepper, who cares to measure out something that is good for you anyway!

*Add broccoli or Zucchini to beef up the volume per serving!

*Use 2% shredded cheese (I used a % cheddar and mozzarella mix)

Per serving, this recipe now contains only 185 calories, 13 grams of fat, 4 carbs and 14 grams of protein. Without these adjustments, you are seriously looking at less food with more calorie and fat bullshit per bite! Here is what mine looks like...

It is things like this that help me remember why I made this choice in the first place. I am married to a phenomenal man and I would like, more than anything, to be able to have a phenomenally healthy little mini-me or mini-Evan of my own. And what I want in addition to conceiving a baby is for people to KNOW I am pregnant, not just FAT. I may have been able to carry and give birth to a healthy baby at my highest weight, but I highly doubt it would have been complication free or without risk of gestational diabetes or some other hellish issue. There is never a guarantee that I will not have complications when we do decide to try to conceive. However, the less weight and stress I have on this body, the better 9 month home I can give my little one and in total, a better life. I will most likely still be considered high risk due to the need for more frequent blood tests to check my vitamin levels etc. due to malabsorption issues etc. etc. etc. However, my chances to conceive, carry and birth a healthy baby will be through the roof compared to what my odds were before. I did not just do this for myself but also for my present and future family. It is important to me and a dream that I may be more likely to live in happily once I am cleared to begin trying...probably 12-18 months post op. To have a healthy baby means the world to me...and to have a healthier me, in order to be a good parent, means even more. I will not be an obesity statistic...one that dies and leaves my family behind because my fat ass didn't make a change...I want my 100 years and then some damnit!      

                              

Dead Men Tell No Tales...

Today was a very nice prelude to Mother's Day with a freaky, creepy little undertone. Not being a mother yet myself, it was very nice spending a portion of my day with my husband and my mom, dad, aunt, uncle and grandparents. We had lunch at this awesome place where I spent 5 summers and 4 winter holidays waitressing. I love Pier 57, the people and the customers that helped pay for my college tuition. It is a family owned place, whose owners never get to take a vacation but they are such amazing people and so are the rest of the wait and bar staff. I am lucky to say that I keep in touch with a good deal of people I used to work with and am proud to have worked alongside them. I loved waitressing and may, with all of the budget cuts, have to go back to it one day. I loved it because at the end of the day, I earned what I earned and I didn't bring any work home with me as I do now being a teacher. I had only to show up to my next shift chipper and ready to go. I am sure my back and arm muscles were stronger for it. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching my special needs friends, but just think what it must be like not to bring any extra stuff home...hmmm. I digress...this restaurant was and is special for more than one reason. Truth be told I never experienced this but apparently, the place is haunted. Ask many employees who have worked there for a number of years and they will tell you that a woman that was killed there years ago, still walks the up and downstairs. I am just glad the poor bitch didn't mess with my blackened chicken caesar salad light on the dressing. 

After our lunch with the spooky undertone, the hubby and I decided (or really I did) that it would be a great idea to plant a new rhododendron bush that we bought from an annual fundraiser for a local group home for disabled and non-disabled adults. As we are digging in the perfect spot, Evan hits something hard. It's hard to tell what the shovel is hitting, exactly, so he keeps digging at my prodding ("Come on, dig harder...pansy ass love of my life...push!" Oh, alright, it wasn't actually SAID) and continues to make contact with this very hard, solid mass! We try to brush the dirt off...is it a pipe or a monster mutant tree root? Is it a box with a dead pet from owners past? Is it a freaking skeleton of a dead body?! Shit! Keep digging!!! Whatever it is, he takes a chunk out of it and picks it up (I would have gagged had he not had gloves on) only to find that this white piece of mystery crap breaks in two in his hands. Double and triple shit, is that bone or some other kind of body part?! Neither of us know so of course we continue with the exploration. Well, it turns out, the damn thing is most likely a big ass tree root but we still, to this minute, do not know exactly what it is because we were too freaked out to get down on the hands and knees, touch it further or whip out a trusty magnifying glass. We simply dug a new spot right next to the root of death, planted the bush and walked away. Unsolved mystery, I say. Ten to one completely gone from my husband's memory or sense of giving a shit...but I think there lies a mystery buried deep within our garden. I'm just saying...

On a side note, and more to the point than ANY of my previous republican-like ramblings (hehe just a joke friends!), take a look at that freaking ticker at the top of this page! I have less than one pound to go before joining the century club and 3 more pounds total before reaching my half-way to goal number! These are the reasons I get up on a Saturday to work out and do extra gardening work during which I try not to let my boobs fall out of my top as I bend over to weed! It is so exciting I could pee! I think I will...maybe that will help...goodbye friends, have a wonderful Mother's Day in any and every way you choose to celebrate it!